Published September 17, 2021

There is nothing worse than feeling like a doormat. I mean, it can really suck feeling like those around you aren’t respecting or listening to you.

We’ve definitely all been there – and, hey, it’s almost a rite of passage as a human being – but remember that you won’t be overlooked or under-appreciated forever.

The silver lining is, there are always some things in your control – it’s just about finding what those things are. And, more often than not, feeling like a doormat can leave you with important life lessons; it can equip you with greater strength, perseverance and a better understanding about what you deserve in life, from friends, loved ones, dates or colleagues.

But, for now, do you feel a little overlooked? Are you struggling to find your voice in a certain aspect of your life? Well, let’s dish out The Ultimate Doormat Checklist to make sure you aren’t being treated any less than you deserve to be.

1. Are your kind deeds reciprocated?

We’ve all been in scenarios where we’ve done kind deed after kind deed for someone, only to have them pie us in the face. Are you in relationships that don’t feel grounded in a mutual respect? Maybe it’s time to reevaluate them.

2. Are you surrounding yourself with people who leave you constantly feeling drained?

It’s important to identify these relationships. It’s even more important to realise that you don’t deserve to feel this way. After all, there will always be people out there who appreciate you, and relationships are founded on the premise that both sides should be mutually lifting each other up.

3. Have you written down your strengths before?

If you’re feeling a bit glum, write down a list of your strengths. Not only will this force you to appreciate certain qualities about yourself, but it will also give you confidence to back yourself in group situations. This way, you’ll know what you can bring to a discussion, and might help you to voice up when the time is right.

4. Have you privately voiced your concerns with someone who listens?

Felt like you weren’t being heard in a particular conversation? It’s worth pulling a mate aside who will truly listen, and to voice your concerns with them. There’s nothing worse than feeling talked over, but it makes the situation a lot easier if you can confide in someone you trust.

5. Are you saying ‘yes’ to everything?

Don’t immediately say ‘yes’ to everything — boundaries are important, and there’s nothing worse than people who automatically assume you’ll do whatever they ask or suggest. You deserve to have a choice.

6. Are you always the first to message?

Let’s chat dating, for example. Dating simultaneously involves weeding out the good eggs from the bad. Sometimes, despite how painful it may seem, you might want to consider that ditching that person who never messages you first.

7. Are you safe?

When you’re trying to impress a group of people, it’s not uncommon to find yourself in situation where you don’t necessarily feel comfortable. Remember that your safety is paramount and people who truly care about you will value your safety, as well.

As mentioned above, though, every dot point can be changed, and you have every right to express your concerns, speak to someone who cares, and to feel appreciated. Remember, no hurdle lasts forever; it’s just a little bump in the road.